


Insomnia

by icelikestwice



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drugs, F/F, Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, Not Beta Read, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21834016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icelikestwice/pseuds/icelikestwice
Summary: Mina can't sleep now that Nayeon is not by her side.
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Myoui Mina, Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon
Comments: 9
Kudos: 71





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> i tried that prompt thing again for the MiNayeon cult. 
> 
> sorry for the angst and writing errors, sorry if it's too dramatic
> 
> wrote this with a headache and half a braincell.
> 
> i havent done a proof read so expect errors

Mina feels the familiar ache in her chest again. The way it tugged and pulled on her heart, it hurt. She can't breathe. She felt overwhelmed as the darkness overcame her thoughts. Her bed felt empty, now that Nayeon wasn't there. 

It was a cold night in Febuary when they argued, and it was like no other. Usually, when they'd fight, one would end up apologizing to the other. But this time, the anger was just so deep, neither of them took the initiative to do it. 

The first night without Nayeon on her bed was an absolute nightmare. The girl had left to go to god knows where, presumably a party, leaving Mina alone in their apartment. The night was silent and it was cold, Mina couldn't sleep that night. 

The following morning, she saw Nayeon passed out on the couch. The girl was sprawled out all over like a starfish, it was funny, but Mina didn't laugh. She only sighed as she covered the girl with a blanket before leaving for work. 

Work was a good escape for the time being. With numbers to crunch and codes to type, Mina was distracted for the rest of the day. She would've forgotten about it if it wasn't for the small picture posted on the side of her cubicle. It was a picture of Nayeon and her at the theme park, both smiling as they posed for the picture. Her heart ached at the picture, but she couldn't forgive the girl that quickly. 

Mina got home tired and in need of a rest, but she only found an empty apartment without even a single trace of rice in the rice cooker. She could only guess that Nayeon left early for work as soon as she woke up and is staying for some overtime credits. If only that was the case. 

Nayeon got home that night, wasted as she stumbled into their bed. She still had her work clothes on, but damn did she reek of alcohol. Mina tried to initiate a conversation with her, she had been waiting for her for hours after all. But the girl didn't answer, already passed out when Mina came back with a glass of water. 

Mina laid in bed for a while during that night, staring at the features of the sleeping woman. She somehow felt that she needed to it, and she did. She memorized ever curvature, every freckle, every pore. She did this as she fell asleep.

But Nayeon wasn't by her side when she woke up. 

The cycle then continued, it was either one of the two;

Either Nayeon would be gone when she woke up, or Nayeon wouldn't be there at all. 

They were growing farther and farther apart, and before Mina knew it, Nayeon was in front of her, a serious and sober look on her face. 

"Let's stop this."

The words pierced Mina's skin like a pack of needles, but Nayeon looked at her with utmost sincerity. "Is this because of our fight?" Mina says as she tries to wrack her brain for answers. Why so suddenly? Why now? 

Nayeon simply sighs as she looked at her hand, they're already clasped over the handle of her luggage bag. She had been packing while Mina was away from work. She had already made up her mind. 

"Answer me." Mina says as her voice shook. She didn't care, she didn't even wipe away the stray tear that somehow managed to snake it's way to her cheek. She looked at Nayeon in the eyes, sadness and confusion in her eyes. 

"None of this is healthy."

"Then let's talk, right now."

"No."

Nayeon's voice was stern as she looked back at Mina, her eyes sharp and glazed over. Mina was taken back, those eyes aren't the eyes that she once knew. They didn't bring the same warmth like they did back then.

Nayeon used to be her summer breeze, the warm and welcoming atmosphere that would cover her everyday. But now, Nayeon was winter. The unwelcoming cold and barren wasteland that pushed her farther and farther away. 

Mina felt herself shiver at the cold stare. 

"At least tell me what went wrong." The girl says, her voice small and shaky. Nayeon would feel bad if it wasn't for something that kept her thoughts away, or no, perhaps it was someone. She would've told her if she wasn't a coward, but she could barely look at the girl straight in the eyes. It was not going as she'd planned. She expected the girl to punch her, scream at her, maybe even insult her. But she thought wrong. 

Well, what was she thinking in the first place? Mina was a gentle soul, she'd rather talk things out than fight again. And Nayeon couldn't find herself answering the simple question. She decides to flee from the situation. 

She stands and takes her bag with her as Mina only stared up at her. "I'm sorry." She mumbles before leaving the room, never to be seen again. 

Even to this day, Mina can't remember what they fought about. 

Weeks passed and Mina was left alone in that apartment. It was hard to eat, it was hard sleep, and it was hard to breathe. Where ever she looked, Nayeon was there. From the couch to the bathroom, everything was a lingering reminder of her existance.

The girl had blocked her from all social media sites, too cooped up by her own cowardice to face Mina with a straight answer. 

Mina was left to wonder by herself to what truly went wrong.

Every night, she'd lay in bed, an empty space beside her as she thought of other ways that night could've ended. The things she could've said and the ways she could've stopped Nayeon from leaving were simply piling on top of her, burying her into the bed that once felt warm. 

This continued on for days, taking away her ability to sleep, especially in that bed where Nayeon once slept on. 

It greatly affected Mina's health, it ate her up from the inside. She was once the ace employee, but now she can't even sit up straight without dozing off for five minutues. 

If only her boss hadn't noticed would she not be in her bed right now, alone and on sick leave. She hated it, she hated being in the room where everything reminded her of Nayeon. From the sheets to the ceiling, it was like the girl's name had been painted on the wall with red paint. 

She was everywhere, and Mina was trapped. 

Mina seeked out to a therapist, unable to cope with anything by herself anymore. Through sessions of therapy and more, her doctor recommended a bottle of sleeping pills. One pill a day would guarantee a good night's rest. And the doctor wasn't lying, her eyes were quick to drift away once her head had hit her pillow. 

If only she didn't dream of Nayeon. 

The girl was smiling at her when she fell asleep, welcoming her into a warm embrace. 

"I missed you." She said, but she woke up before Nayeon could say that she missed her too. 

Mina tried her hardest to fall back asleep for that morning, but she was already awake to the reality that Nayeon was gone and it was all a dream. 

The girl thought to herself all day, Nayeon's smile somehow tattooed on her brain. When night had fallen, she took the pill as prescribed, falling back asleep as soon as she closed her eyes. 

And just like that, Mina was addicted. 

She would be greeted by the same woman in her dreams. They'd relive their best memories and in that small moment, everything seemed to be alright again. 

It didn't take long before Mina had to go back for her work. It wasn't like she was given a month off. 

She went to work with a fake smile on her face for that day, she didn't want to worry anyone. She tried to act normal, she even mamaged to take the picture off the side of her cubicle. 

She managed to convince herself that every thing was fine. 

"Mina! I missed you!" Her co-worker, Minatozaki Sana, said as the girl gave her a bear hug. Mina chuckles as she buried herself into the girl's shoulder, sniffing in the girl's scent. Cherry blossoms, it brought her back home. 

"I missed you too, Satang." Mina says as she lifts her head up to look at the girl with the bright smile. Their other friend, Momo, simply watched them with a smile on her face.

"You two done?" She says as Sana lets go of Mina. "Yup!" Sana says as she smiled at the two

Momo then crushes Mina in her own bear hug, making Mina stumble backwards. The girls laugh, and Mina finds a permanent smile on her face. Everything was alright again, has it all finally worked out in the end? 

The girls promise to meet over at Mina's place for that night as she had the nicest kitchen out of the three. Mina went home with a smile on her face, anticipating a fun and memorable night. 

The walk home was great, but that was until she saw Nayeon on her front door. 

Nayeon was still... Nayeon. Same long hair, same fair skin, and the same bunny teeth whenever she smiled. But that smile wasn't for her now. It was for the woman that Nayeon brought along with her. 

Mina approached them with heavy steps, the two had already noticed her so it wasn't like she could turn back. With a heavy sigh, she lifted her head up to face the two. 

"What do you need?" She asks, her voice as small as the last time they talked. "I left a few of my clothes in there, I didn't want to just walk inside so Jeongyeon and I waited for you to get home." Nayeon said. It was all so casual, like nothing had happened between them. Mina could only nod as she unlocks the house. 

"Sure, come on in."

Nayeon quickly made her way through the door and quickly went to the bedroom. She had memorized the place, she could do this with her eyes closed. 

"Nice place." Jeongyeon says as she stood by the hallway of the apartment, Mina replying with a short "Thanks."

They simply stood there as they watched the girl take what was hers, but Mina saw how Nayeon stopped when she noticed the hoodie neatly tucked on Mina's bed. It was hers, and it was right next to Mina's side of the bed. 

Nayeon fought herself, but she decided to take it. 

"Is that all?" Jeongyeon asks as Nayeon zips her bag. "Yeah." Nayeon replies, smiling up at the tall girl. Mina was lost in the triangle, her eyes focused on the floor. 

Silence echoed between them until Jeongyeon broke the silence by clearing her throat. "Anyway, we still have a reservation in an hour, we have to go. Thank you." Jeongyeon says ans Nayeon nods before she's fully escorted out of the place. 

Mina stood there, at a lost for words. 

Nayeon had just come to their apartment and for the wrong reasons. 

She even took the hoodie that Mina would hug when the nights got too cold or her dreams were too short. 

Nayeon had left no trace of her existance. It was like she never existed in that area. 

Mina found herself dragging herself to the bed where Nayeon once laid. She felt the familiar tugging and pulling in her heart as it ached. She didn't want to feel it, she didn't want to be crushed by it. She needed to sleep. 

The girl closed her eyes and tried to find her way into slumber, but she just couldn't do it. Nayeon's name echoed in her head and it wouldn't stop. The scene of Nayeon taking everything away and leaving her kept replaying in her head like a broken record. It played over and over again, it drove her insane. 

Mina sighs as shs grabs the pills from her bedside drawer. She took one pill and took it with ease before laying back down again. She then closes her eyes and wishes for sleep. 

But it never came. 

Her thoughts were too strong, it was all too heavy. She felt the tears stinging her eyes as she tried her best to fall asleep.

But she simply couldn't. 

She couldn't forget how Nayeon looked at her like it was nothing, like she was nothing. 

Out of frustration, Mina decides to take the whole pill bottle and takea a handful. She's been warned by her doctor to be careful with her doses, but she couldn't stop herself. She pops them in her mouth and takes them with a hard gulp. Anything to stop the ringing in her head, anything at all. 

As soon as the pillow hit the back of her head, she felt herself fall into deep slumber. 

She was met with darkness, a void that cannot be filled. A silence that cannot be named. It was deafening and blinding, how ironic. Mina stayed in this position for a while, disoriented as she floated in the empty space. 

Is this what dying people felt like? Is this what they saw? Is this purgatory? She didn't know the answers to the questions, she was far tok occupied by the light glaring from above her.

Until it sucked her in. 

Mina found herself in her bed again with Nayeon by her side. Was it all a dream? No, it all felt too real. But the warmth from Nayeon's embrace enveloped her senses as she stared at the girl in front of her. 

"Was it all real?" Mina says as Nayeon looks up at her. The girl gave her a smile and she gave her one back. But Nayeon pulled away and suddenly, Mina couldn't move. "Why did you do that?" Nayeon asks and Mina is confused.

"Do what?" She asks but Nayeon looks at her. 

"Why did you take the pills?"

Mina's heart shatters and so does the world around her. Everything fades into darkness and the silence rings in her ears again. She felt herself shiver at the cold abyss. Is this what death is? If so, she's scared. 

She didn't know that it'd be this lonely. 

Mina felt herself snap back into reality as a blinding light shines from above. She heard beeping, presumably from a monitor, and distant chattering from a far. She couldn't distinguish much of anything yet, she was disoriented after all. 

But she remembers Nayeon's eyes staring back at her, she remembers the darkness, she remembers thw deafening silence, and she remembers the bitter taste of the pills. 

But most of all, she remembers the pain. 

She can't help but tear up as Sana and Momo run to her side, worried at her state. 

She let the tears fall from her eyes as her two friends comfort her. The two had apparently went to her house for the promised dinner only to find her passed out with blue lips on her bed. It was a good thing that they weren't too late. 

They kept on asking her what happened, but Mina couldn't answer. She didn't know what brought her to the decision of taking the pills. 

Maybe she wanted to forget, maybe she just wanted to rest, or maybe she quit.

Cause even to this day, months after the incident, Mina still feels the empty space beside her bed. She feels how cold it is. She feels the void and she hears the silence. 

She still doesn't know why they fought in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry


End file.
